the final line.

he refused. to be a true man. to be the man he could be.

he refused. to answer for his decisions. to explain.

he refused. to look her in the eye. to give her a reason.

he could not stand up and be that man. all he could do was walk away.

he did not look back.

and then he complained. that his friends had grown up. that they had settled down.

he complained. that she was pushing. when all she wanted (needed) was closure. answers.

a final line for the chapter that is not yet complete.

life is truly unpatterned.

so i’m back. and newly single. life is unpatterned. (hence the blog title). i thought it was following a pattern. i thought it was fitting into the ‘plan’ i had formed. i thought it was working the way i wanted.

but that’s just it. the way i wanted is not the way it is meant to be. because life is not a pattern. it is an unpattern. and that is what makes it beautiful. what makes it free. what makes it flow.

i shared on facebook yesterday, ‘life is a journey. with hills and valleys. with highways and dirt roads. but there will always be another sunrise and a new day.’ and this has never been more true.

it’s about letting it happen. about letting new people in. about letting those who had been a part, out. (and being okay with it all).

it’s a road to travel. one with a speed limit of eighty at times and one that busts your tires at others. but the journey will make each of us special. make each of us real. make each of us unique.

(and i like unique. and i’m re-learning to like the unpatterned journey).

transformation.

they give up before even beginning. scared to make a mistake. but how do you progress in life if you never take a leap?

learning is not about perfection. it is about mistakes. about time. effort. thought. looking beyond what you think you are capable of. beyond what you have been told in life.

education can transform you (if you let it).

my hand surgeon thanked me today. for making him look good. he did his job. put my bones back together (albeit with a metal plate and three screws). but i did my job. i put in my effort, too. i went to therapy. i did exercises to improve my flexibility. i used my wrist (even when it scared me to do so).

but because we both put in the effort. the work. my surgery (and recovery) has been successful.

the parallel between the practice of surgery and the practice of education is remarkable. surgeons may excel at their job, putting together something from broken pieces. but if the patient does not do their part… exercise, go to therapy, work on the problem… then the results will not be as expected.

in the same fashion. as educators, we may excel at our jobs. we may have great teaching methods. awesome materials. and a fantastic positive attitude. but if our students are unwilling to put in the effort. the time. the practice. then the results will be sub par.

and just as a patient may blame their surgeon for results that are not as expected. our students blame us, the educator, when they fail to grasp a particular skill or lesson. and the administration follows suit. blaming the educator. blaming the method of instruction.

reality is. it is not the surgeons fault if a patient does not make a full recovery. but it is also not only the surgeon who deserves credit when recovery is excellent. both patient and surgeon must share in the joy of recovery. for the work… the effort… the patient has put in has made success possible.

in education. we must quit placing blame on educators when students do not reach the standard. but we must also share credit with our students who do put in the effort. the students who understand… this is their life. they have the ability to succeed (if they put their minds to it).

surgery and education. both processes of transformation. that require effort. by all parties involved. surgeon and patient. educator and student.

we must allow for transformation. must allow for success.